I can’t believe it’s been 6 years. It doesn’t feel like it.. to be honest, I do not think of you everyday. In fact, there are long stretches where you do not come into my mind at all. But then there would be those instances.. random moments.. when I’ll see Byron and suddenly it just hits me of how he actually came into my life, when I’ll get Chinese takeout and biting into a sesame chicken will bring back memories of countless afternoons of getting Fu Lai’s and squandering the day away watching random youtube videos, when I’ll come upon my badminton racquets in storage and think of mornings spent trying to be active but really we would just end up on the park bench talking about nonsensical things like fiber one and poop. Sometimes it will truly be outta nowhere; I’ll just be riding on the subway and suddenly it’s like the breath is knocked outta me; tears will spring forth for no particular reason, try as I might to choke them down and I’ll just keep thinking ‘why’.  Then there will be times when I see something or watch something and I’ll think ‘omg I have to tell her about it, she’ll love that” There are times, I will still think about what we will do when we’re little old cat ladies, it is a glorious 2 secs and then it hits me, no it won’t happen. And after all this time, I wish I can just celebrate the life you did lead and the happiness you did bring. But it’s hard.. truly hard. I wish I didn’t still think why because in the end does it really matter why when that doesn’t change the fact that you’re gone. Another year without you, I wish I could say it gets easier and maybe it will… for now it hasn’t.
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